As I was wondering round the textiles department, Boyz II Men started blasting out over the store speakers, ‘The End of the Road’ - a song I haven’t heard probably for almost two decades.
Given that it’s Rosh Hashana 5778 Wednesday evening, it was extremely appropriate. But maybe, other things are approaching the ‘end’ too?
Certainly, my own personal stores of stamina, patience and energy are nearly gone. I don’t know if it’s just the unrelenting 35 degree plus heat (that’s been frying my brains since July, and appears to still be going…).
Or the ongoing twists and turns with Rav Berland’s persecutors, one of whom, Itay Nachman Shalom, filed a petition to stop the Rav from going to Uman this year, despite the fact that the Court itself agreed, and the State Prosecutor didn’t appeal the decision.
(At the time of writing, I still don’t know whether the Rav actually made it or not. I guess we’ll pick that story back up post Rosh Hashana).
Maybe, it’s because everything still feels so heavy and stuck, still. Barely a day goes by when I don’t hear some other horrendous tale of personal suffering and woe, and it seems to be intensifying all around me.
(And probably, all around you as well…)
How much longer can this continue? How many more hurricanes can Hashem throw at the world before someone wakes up and realizes there’s a lot of teshuva we all need to make, particularly on the personal morality front?
(While ‘parade participants’ certainly need to introspect and fast, we probably all still have some work to do in this area, even if we don’t so much as own a rainbow sticker. I had some recent insights into just how easy it is to act very untzniusly, even when you have 0% intention of attracting attention from people you aren’t actually married to. But that’s a post for another time.)
I’m spiritually exhausted right now. I have no idea how Rosh Hashana is going to turn out, as I still don’t know where I’m even davening, or if I’m even going to hear the shofar blasts I’m meant to.
So in so many ways, I kind of do feel like this is the end of the road. Maybe I always feel like this the day before Rosh Hashana, it’s possible.
But one thing’s for sure: we so need some renewal and redemption in 5778, whether personal, national and / or global.
BH, we should all be blessed with a good, sweet, happy, healthy, peaceful, uplifting and fulfilling year in 5778.