I have a ton of pesach prep to do, a ton of marketing stuff to get on with, a ton of writing news posts and even new books to continue - and I have zero, zip motivation for any of it.
On some deep level, I think I'm waiting for 'something' to explode, and change everything around before Pesach, which is the time when the Jews are traditionally going to be redeemed again at the time of the final redemption.
But...I had that feeling before, 8 years ago, and despite the banks almost going bust, God pulled the world back from the brink and gave us all another 8 years of 'business as usual'.
Is He going to do the same again?
I don't know.
What I can tell you is that there are so many things that appear to lining up in a row, and pointing to geula being imminent.
Like statements from big Rabbis like THIS one, to give but one recent example.
Like, all the weird stuff going on in the heavens, which is a portent of imminent geula. (One of the reasons the biggest rabbis knew that Shabtai Tzvi was a false messiah more than 400 years' ago, for example, is because there were no unusual celestial phenomena going on at that time.)
Like, Trump actually putting his money where his mouth in, and putting US soldiers on the ground in the Middle East and North Korea.
Like, Rav Berland still being stuck in prison, in fulfillment of all these statements from our Sages (see the picture) about what's going to happen before Moshiach comes.
Like, this deep, deep feeling that the world is getting crazier and crazier by the minute, and really can't continue like this for much longer...
Every where I turn, there are people losing their marbles from all the stresses involved from trying to make a living, and / or living the lie of modern life which looks so wonderful, but feels so horrible underneath. Even on Goodreads, two of the non-Jewish moderators in one of the author groups just quit, citing incredible stresses in their private lives.
We're all feeling the heat!
But I don't know if we're *there* yet, truly, of if God is going to pull the whole world back from the brink.
How can I clean for Pesach under these circumstances?????
But I have to, and life must go on, because hey, we were 'here' before, and I it didn't materialise as hoped. But maybe, really maybe, this time it's going to be different.