But even by my standards, I’ve been finding SO MANY people just downright annoying recently. It’s like all the stuff I’ve been ignoring, excusing, overlooking in my life, in my acquaintances, in society generally - and also in myself - can no longer be ignored, excused or overlooked, and I’m just walking around feeling aggravated a lot of the time.
It’s happening with ‘stuff’, like my on-going struggle with living in a rented dump (I know, SHOCKINGLY ungrateful, I know, I know!) But more worryingly, it’s also happening with people, most of whom are really much better human beings than me in so many ways. (But then, there’s also the ones that really aren’t, but who clearly think they are…)
And lastly, it’s happening with all that ‘bad’ in me that I keep hoping is ameliorating and disappearing over time, but which God is delighting in showing me is still here inside, burning away full force.
I’ve written and deleted so many posts, nasty emails, and gouging online comments the last few days, aimed at so many of the hypocrites, atheists and nasty people in the Jewish world.
Hard as I’m trying to keep a lid on it all, all this judgment, disgust and anger keeps welling up and spilling over into (barely…) suppressed rants about how selfish / self-absorbed / arrogant / hypocritical / deceitful / ungrateful THAT PERSON is…. (with THAT PERSON clearly changing by the hour).
Part of me knows that whatever I see in others, I also have that problem in myself. So that’s part of the reason I’m so grumpy at the moment, because apparently I’m also still far more selfish / self-absorbed / arrogant / hypocritical / deceitful / ungrateful than I realized and man, I really have been working on this stuff, and praying about it, for years.
Teenagers, you were right!
But part of me is also grumpy because I can’t stand the pretense anymore. The more pious, preachy and ‘perfect’ the person looks on the outside, the more convinced I’ve become that they’re actually probably the worst of the lot.
Just look at all those peace n’ love ‘women’s rights’ and ‘gender equality rights’ and ‘children’s rights’ people in Hollywood who were complicit in such degradation and outright evil in their own lives.
All those people who jumped on Trump simply for saying inappropriate things to women, while whitewashing, ignoring and excusing the awful depravity going on in their own back yards. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!
It seems to me that the louder a blogger, an entertainer, a journalist, a public figure, a politician is yelling about everyone else’s flaws and issues, and pointing fingers, the more their own closet is stuffed full of exactly the same skeletons.
I can’t stand the hypocrisy and all the self-righteous cack any more.
Not just in others, also in myself.
And sometimes the urge to start naming names, and pointing specific fingers all over the place gets so overwhelming, it even jumps its way out of my brain and onto my keyboard. But what stops me from crossing this line is Rabbenu, and particularly, his story of The Cripple, which I wrote about in much more detail, HERE: How the talkers finally bring Moshiach.
At the end of days, the ‘talkers’, i.e. the evil, demonic people in the world start ripping each other to shreds publicly, and calling each other out on all their flaws and evil-doing.
That’s exactly what we see going on in Hollywood at the moment, and my guess is that this phenomenon is only going to spread and amplify into every other area of public discourse from here on in.
The truth will out!
God wants that to happen, and it’s the last part of the process before evil falls, and redemption and Moshiach are ushered into the world.
But woe to the people who open their mouths against specific individuals, and who go against the explicit laws of lashon hara, however tempting it may be. (And believe me, sometimes it’s SO tempting it drives me crazy!)
The demonic talkers will take each other, and themselves, to pieces, and we just need to sit back, stay out of it, and watch.
We’ve got our hands full anyway, trying to deal with the ‘truth’ vibe in our own lives, which means admitting to all the bad middot we (I….) still have to clean up, and all the nasty things that we (I….) are still doing, and all the bad behavior that we (I….) still need to fix.
So do your bit for the geula and admit to your own problems and flaws as publicly as you can. But leave revealing the skeletons in everyone else’s closets to the ‘talkers’, because even though God wants the truth to come out, He doesn’t want you and I to be the ones who are punished for finally exposing it.