In the meantime, I just wanted to tell you a bit about pulse points.
Acupuncturists usually train for decades, to be able to tell if one of the 12 meridian pulse points is too weak, or too strong, but if you use energy (or muscle) testing, you can literally pick up the basics in an hour.
The 12 pulse points are located on the thumb side of each hand, six on right wrist, and six on the left wrist.
If you press lightly with three fingers, you get the pulses for the external, or 'yang' meridians. If you press deeply with the same three fingers, you get the pulses for the internal, or 'yin' meridians.
Today, I was feeling really, really low, and I had no idea why. I mean, OKAYYY, times are currently tough in the Levy household. But sadly, it's been that way for years. If I let that get me down I don't think I would've smiled once the last 12 years…
So something else was going on.
(The last time I felt like this, btw, was a few weeks before the last Gazan war.)
Last time, I literally felt I was going to have a heart-attack for weeks, G-d forbid, for no obvious reason. This time round, thanks to the pulses, I could at least check what meridians were out, and try to figure out how to unblock whatever needed unblocking, or strengthen whatever needed strengthening, before my toes went numb.
I checked, and I got the following information:
Kidney, small intestine, gallbladder and heart were all out.
I vigorously rubbed the associated neurolymphatic points for each meridian, to get the energy going again, and now they all tested strong, except heart.
Ahhh, the heart.
Heart energy gets weakened by heartache and heartbreak. I'd love to tell you that I have no problems in that area, but I'd really be lying. I've been trying to deal with a broken heart, for various reasons, for about three years now.
Every time I think I've turned the corner with it, I smack straight into a big wall.
But G-d is showing me again, that I have to keep trying to heal my heartbreak, and keep looking for ways to put love out into the world, however difficult that's been for me recently.
The only thing that's more spiritually and physically damaging to a person than a broken heart is a heart of stone.
So even though it still feels pretty risky to hope and to love and to try again in any genuine way, that's really the only way forward. I have to trust G-d that any heartache He throws at me is coming to heal and not to hurt, and to stop worrying so much about 'what will be'.
That's quite a tall order.
But I prefer it a million times over to having my toes go numb again.