As a result of that wake up call, I completely changed my diet around, and went down the brown flour, brown sugar, olive oil and more fruit and veg route. My family half came with me. Sometimes.
But I persevered, and I thought I ate pretty healthy. So I had a massive shock when last year, again after an emotionally very stressful time, I again ran out of energy. That prompted two things: I started to focus much more on the spiritual side of being healthy, which is just as important, if not more important than the physical side. And I started to look at a whole bunch of alternative therapies that until then, had struck me as quackery.
As a frum woman, a lot of the alternative therapies out there also usually come packaged with a heavy dose of avoda zora (idol worship) and other unkosher New Age ideas, so that had also put me off in the past. But this time, I kept getting pushed in my own life to go beyond what the doctors were offering, and to really dig down to see what was going on with my health.
After discussing with my husband's rav at Chut Shel Chesed, in September I signed up to do a kosher healing course.
We are energy
I'll write more about emuna healing and energy another time, but for now, suffice to say that I learnt that we are pure energy - something that Einstein knew a long time ago. When the energy that is our soul gets blocked, the outer covering called 'our body' also gets blocked, and then we get sick.
Let me quote some things from the section on 'healing' from Mayan HaGanim, a compendium of Rav Arush's best-selling books:
"The most sure-fire segula for healing is Emuna."
"The health of the body depends on the health of the neshama….(so it's crucial for us to know that)… when it comes to healing, there is no such thing as 'teva' or the laws of nature. There is only Hashgacha Pratit, Hashem's Divine Providence. That's why 'machala' has the same letters as 'machila'. This comes to teach us that illnesses only come to atone for our sins."
Paraphrasing: "The state of a person's health is the single biggest manifestation of Hashgacha Pratit there is. Hashem uses health more than any other thing to hint to a person what he needs to fix (letaken.)
"Consequently, the healing of each and every Jew only depends on the teshuva that he makes; and that's the only true path for him to be healed."
Physical illnesses can be cured or completely averted with teshuva
When it comes to most health issues, we can sum up the Jewish approach like this:
If we 'catch' the problem early enough in the soul, take things back to G-d and try to make the changes He wants from us, our soul sickness doesn't have to develop into a physical issue. Why? Because G-d is the only thing making us ill, and G-d will heal us as soon as we get the message He wants us to get.
One of the things that I'm trying to do in my practise is to help people decode their physical symptoms and problems, to see what messages and clues Hashem may be trying to give them. G-d willing, i'll do another post in the future going into this topic in much greater detail.
The smell of Moshiach
I was half-way through the kosher healing class when I got this bizarre idea in my head that I wanted to do aromatherapy. I didn't know anything about aromatherapy, I'd never even dabbled in it - and now, I got this bee in my bonnet in my hitbodedut that I should go and do aromatherapy.
Three days before I was scheduled to go to Uman in February, I signed up for a professional aromatherapy course.
My cousin in Uman
I went to Uman with Rav Ofer Erez, and was randomly assigned a room with three other ladies. So far, so uneventful. Half way through the trip, it turned out one of my roommates was actually a second cousin of mine, who started telling me all this amazing history about my family.
My father's family are from an oasis town called Skoura in Morocco. The place is full of date palms and roses - so many roses that even today, they have a rose festival every may, attended by 20,000 people, including all the top perfume houses.
The thing that she told me that really made me fall off my chair is that my Moroccan ancestors' profession for generation had been…making perfume.
With the aromatherapy, it all came full circle and started to fall into place....