I just got a comment on my blog from someone called ‘antifeminist’ who has created a whole website bewailing how bad American women are. It’s definitely a real website, although the comment is probably spam, so I’m not going to post it up, but here’s a little of what he said:
“I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
“American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.”
Over on his blog, he explains how he spent four years trying to develop a serious relationship with a number of American women, and how they all ended in failure.
Now, clearly there are two sides to every argument, and who knows what sort of character traits and temperament this guy has himself.
But I always take the view that if God is taking the time and trouble to put these things into my face, there must be some pertinent message, or lesson to learn from it, even if it’s delivered in not such appealing packaging.
So the question is this:
Could there be some connection between what this man perceives to be the huge failings of materialistic American feminist society, and our own enormous shidduch crisis, which seems to be particularly acute in North America?
We know that the Jews in a particular country or society are always affected by that country’s mores and attributes, both for the good and bad.
Personally, I’ve also been increasingly put-off by the militant ‘feminist’ vibe that’s been picking up speed recently, and is manifesting itself in more and more bullying attempts to force Jewish publications to have pictures of women on their pages, etc.
I can’t stand all these apparently frum women who start screaming ‘discrimination’ against anyone who thinks posing for pictures on Instagram or Facebook is not the epitome of frum female achievement in the world.
I find their general aggressiveness, self-importance and pushiness pretty off-putting, and I’m a woman! And I’m not planning on trying to marry any of these ladies any time soon, BH! So I can appreciate how walking down the aisle with one of these types could be a less than thrilling prospect for a man.
So let me put it out there: Could this materialistic-American-militant-feminist vibe be behind a lot of what’s causing the shidduch crisis in the Jewish world?
Clearly, the menfolk are also not doing so well at this stage of the game, and I know it’s not black and white by any means, and that a lot of the single (and also married...) men today also have some serious work to do on their middot and attitudes.
But as this blog is for women (mostly….) let’s start with our side of the equation, and try to figure out if ‘anti-feminist’ has a point, and if we need to do some collective soul-searching about how much this aggressive American-feminist worldview may be negatively impacting our own relationships and attitudes in the frum Jewish world.
So woman or man, weigh in here, and tell me what you think.
Could the materialistic-American-militant-feminist approach to life be behind a lot of the problems we’re seeing in getting people married and keeping them happily married in the frum world?
And if yes, what can we do to start changing things around?
Over to you, dear reader.
(When I went to look for some images for 'feminists' for this post, it came back with a bunch of moody, pouting 'angry' women in various states of undress holding a whole bunch of 'angry' signs. Now I ask you, why would anyone want to marry anyone who has such a big chip on their shoulder and is always looking for the next fight?
And if you think 'feminism' and all the 'alternative' lifestyle stuff are separate issues, think again. The same people who are promoting the 'rainbow' lifestyle are behind all this feminist clap-trap too. Go google 'feminist' for yourself, and see what comes up - this 'rainbow' lipstick image above is pretty much the tamest picture I could find.)